It’s winter time now and the snow is beginning to fall, the air is chilly, and lakes are starting to freeze over. This icy season can be pretty rough for those of us that have limited experience with the season. Whether you are afraid of the snow or excited by it, here are five things you can do to survive the winter season:
1. If you find yourself lost in a mountain forest alone, freezing and afraid, simply search for a small cavern. Why? The answer is one word. BEARS. Don’t be afraid, bears hibernate in the winter, and they are extremely warm. Polar bears survive temperatures well below zero, shouldn’t be much different with any other bears. So step on in, snuggle up, and enjoy some of your favorite snacks. (Check the bears fridge, just don’t eat too much, he might wake up angry.)
2. Perhaps the easiest way to survive the winter is to simply not. At the first sign of snow, buy yourself a one-way ticket to the equator. And hey, the best part is that if you stay, you won’t have winter anymore. No winter, no problem.
3. Believe it or not, some people actually enjoy the snow. For those of you reading this that fit into that category, a one-way ticket to the equator might not be so fitting; so I’ll humor you for a second. Let’s pretend that snow is good. I’ll admit, snow is quite beautiful. For you, pack a picture of the snowy mountains, then to the equator you go. See? The best of both worlds. You can look at the snow, but be warm.
4. For anyone trapped in coldlandia (anywhere that it snows) I have a simple one word answer for you: thermals. Lots and lots of thermals. Buy as many as you can. Steal them if you have to. This is winter survival we are talking about. You gotta do what you gotta do.
5. If, for some reason, you have even read this far, you’ve probably not found the first 4 ideas fitting for yourself. I regret to say that if you haven’t done any of those, there is no help for you. But hey, I tried. Maybe just think about the sun, that way you can smile as you slowly freeze to death. Enjoy your winter.